You know that moment when his lips are the most beautiful, delicate thing…

That you long to touch,

Gently and softly with your own.

Where his cheek

And every detail of his face

Makes your heart leap in wonder,

At who he is

This yours.

This one you’ve been waiting for

In moments of softness.

Where to stroke your hand along his skin

Feels the best privilege of your life.

And his smile

Makes your heart crumble.

Where it doesn’t matter where he’s been,

But only that he is

Yours,

And you his.

All your life you had this feeling

He was there somewhere.

In a dream,

A breath,

A thought,

A heartbeat.

Even when you felt so lost,

And your heart lay shattered in a million pieces.

You hoped he knew you were there,

Somewhere too.

Where a lifetime of hurt,

Had so far prevented you

From finding him,

Because you struggled to find yourself.

Until the day you realise

That to find yourself was the only way to find him.

So now as you pick up the tiny pieces of you.

You start to get a tiny sense

Of him.

A flash of a cheek,

A lip, a jaw,

A sense of his strength,

Because you start to find your own;

A sense of his heart,

When you learn to feel your own.

From the desire to find yourself

Your longing for him begins.

Some curiosity at who you might be

And who he is

Who was made for you.

You know what his passions may be

Because you’re finding yours.

You’ll know his silly sense of humour

Because you have it too.

The flash of a cheek,

The corner of his mouth,

His breath close to yours.

A waking dream or a sign of something?

Each piece of yourself you find

Is a step closer to him:

To the one

Made for you.

And it starts not to matter

How long it will take.

But only that you keep walking towards yourself,

Because time and God are on your side

And his.

Maxine Bell 2019