I have been pondering on what we have normalised in our world – both personally and collectively. It started after some personal reflection about my facade, how I have lived my life and the particularly the many bad choices I have made – many in a degree of ignorance or denial because of the world’s view would be “oh that’s normal” or “you’re allowed to do that.” I have also been easily led because of some of my (large) addictions for approval, validation and “love.” The other strong element to this is that it’s sometimes very convenient for us, to join in with the world’s view and ignore our conscience. It gives us a way out of feeling bad or to meet our physical, emotional and spiritual addictions (which, of course are our route to avoid painful emotions and truth).
If you start to write a list of what is ‘normal’ in this world, it’s a pretty dark list. I started one and it could have gone on for pages and I am sure between us we could write at least a large book. Jesus talks about the “horror fantasy reality” we have created and if you go through that list of ‘normals’ that horror is clear.
One of the biggest ‘normalisations’ in the Western world particularly, is our narcissism; our self absorption – me, me, me and I want, I want, I want! I mention this one because it leads to such selfish, arrogant, manipulative actions (sinful actions). You can see the connection with addictions. I think there is personal narcissism in most, if not all of us, to various degrees, but certainly in the Western world it also feels like a collective narcissism full of self righteousness, arrogance and worse and it’s become so big we have started to infect other parts of the world too.
If you had a very narcissistic parent you will know the deep hurt it causes and how twisted it can be. But that is another ‘normal’ that creates a lot of damage: parenting. We think it’s about control, about our kids looking “good” to the rest of the world; about giving them everything they want. It is normal for an 18 or even 28 year old to not even know how to do their own washing these days.
Then there is the big one, which I still have many personal emotions about, how we have raised mothers up and put them on a pedestal or did mothers do that? It is ‘normal’ for the mother card to be played again and again to allow mothers to get away with a huge amount of abusive behaviour towards our kids. I remember watching Ricky Lake many years ago and a 16 year old came on and told of the terrible treatment she had received from her mother: emotional abuse, physical abuse and neglect. Then they brought her mother out – who was angry and self-righteous and many of the audience members attacked the daughter and said “you need to forgive you mother, girl – she’s your mother and the only one you’ve got.” I was horrified and afraid as I was about 20, still in the firing line of my mother and very confused: I hadn’t yet worked out it wasn’t my fault.
But that’s a normal we have created: “The Throne of Motherhood” which says “she did the best with what she knew.” It doesn’t help the children and as a mother myself I did some terrible things towards my son and when I look back there were clear moments when I knew I wasn’t being loving. So was I doing the best with what I knew? Of course not – I was just stuck in my own hurt and willing to hurt another to avoid my own pain.
What we have created as normal is very much about us avoiding pain or feeling the consequence of our actions. In the name of equality, women declare their bodies are their own and in that ‘right’ they have permission to murder their own children through abortion and it has become such a clever game, such a powerful normal, that to challenge it is seen as extreme or right wing. What women don’t want to do is feel their generational and personal pain about feeling powerlessness and hurt over what has been done to their bodies over centuries from more physically powerful men. This is how dark it gets when we avoid pain – we are willing to kill millions of innocent souls and deprive them of their chance to incarnate and experience earth.
We have normalised pain and suffering: war; famine; dodgy politics; sex with many; consumerism; violence etc “as part of life” and our sin as “just being human:” admonishing any sense of responsibility for our creations.
So what has become ‘normal’ in our world is just our messed up creation. It is not how life has to be or how God wants it to be for us. God is all about Love and Truth and our eternal happiness. We decided that we would forget God, try our way and the sad thing if we were honest, we can clearly, starkly see our way has not and is not working, so rather than face that truth we normalise our error.
Have you heard of the Butterfly effect? It is the idea that on one side of the world when a butterfly flaps its wings, it could cause a tornado on the other side of the world. I heard an example of this on a BBC Sounds Podcast the other day “How They Made us Doubt Everything” where they shared the story of John Hill – a PR man for the tobacco industry in the 50’s who came up with a plan to create doubt in the science saying that smoking could contribute towards lung cancer. His method worked and it has since been successfully used on many issues, including climate change: creating doubt in the science.
So inadvertently, John Hill contributed to the deaths of millions from lung cancer and also many billions of other lives (humans and other life) with climate change. So it’s beyond even what we can imagine – the damage even our individual ‘normal’ can and does do.
I know I only have an inkling of my sins and what I will need to repent for. But it is clear that shifting seeing my normal as very abnormal, insane and even dangerous is important. I notice with many of us following Divine Truth teaching we often laugh off our addictions; use fear as an excuse for inaction or ignore how angry we are; or we think because we’ve verbally admitted our addictions that’s good. I’m not saying our intellectual awareness isn’t good, but as I and many of us can testify it doesn’t change anything. We keep talking the talk, but doing very little walking the walk.
Recognising emotionally that every addiction, pretty much every bit of my ‘normal’ is probably out of harmony with God’s Love and Truth in some way is important. It’s letting that yucky, ashamed feeling come and letting it take you to the Truth. I’m still hanging out in the yucky feeling on some issues and have yet to touch others. But what I am learning is that my reality is not what God wants for me at all. He wants me to confront everything in my life: everything! I nearly fainted yesterday when I started to feel this – giddy, heart pumping: Everything God? Really? Oh boy!
But I’ve been working on my desires and feeling a slow, gradual increase. It was so good to watch the talks on Understanding Sin that I attended last year : it was a stark reminder – don’t avoid the fact that our facades are a sin; that our addictions are a sin; that our emotional suppression is a sin; that living in fear is a sin; that doing nothing is a sin. That our normal is full of sin: we have to stop normalising our sin.
If we don’t we will continue to play a dangerous game – damaging our soul and the souls of others, including every child and the natural world. Especially as the answers to all this are here right now: with God, but also thanks to Jesus and Mary – on YouTube!
I saw something on Instagram today (thanks Courtney Pool for sharing) that was from a page called @loveinspired that seems apt:
START NOW. START WHERE YOU ARE. START WITH FEAR. START WITH PAIN.
START WITH DOUBT. START WITH YOUR HAND SHAKING. START WITH VOICE
TREMBLING BUT START. START AND DONT’ STOP. START WHERE YOU ARE, WITH
WHAT YOU HAVE. JUST…START.
We need to start with our sin.
*Jesus has talked many times about the difference between the worlds view of Love vs God’s view of Love starting from 4 talks in 2011 through to many of the assistance groups if you would like to know more.