
If I stop,
Will loneliness’s grey swirl
around and through me,
until it has me?
If I stop,
will my rage rise
In voraciousness
where I am bad:
No longer ‘good?’
If I stop,
what dark shadows
will fill the space
where distraction
was?
If I stop,
I’m afraid the
devil in me will
be all there is.

If I stop,
will insanity come
and pull me down
into its murky
pit?
If I stop,
will there be a silence
so loud it
shatters me?
If I stop,
I will lose my grip
on the few things
I think
I have.
If I stop,
who will I be?
I only know myself
as Doing.
If I stop,
will God be there?
My footprints
in the sand?
Or will He abandon me,
like them?

If I stop
I fear the empty
wilderness:
the hauntings
of my heart,
that will come.
If I stop,
will I be free?
By Maxine 01.01.21
**All images from Pixabay
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