by 
Sometimes, in moments,
I feel me – real me
Peeking through.
It’s often when I’m alone
Its true…
By water, moor or tree
Just you, God, and me!
Or I’m in my lounge
Being the dancer
I always wanted to be,
Or singing out loud-
Me expressing me,
in my not-so-great voice,
But who cares.
Just me and 4 walls
Have the ears.
There are other odd moments
When ‘I’ appear:
In passion, I speak
more loud; more clear.
In my poetry,
as I weave words
into rhyme.
I love making those moments
– they’re mine.
Some I get to share with you –
A little of me
Unhiding, revealing
It’s true.
As the moments appear
I pick up the crumbs
of bits of myself
with fingers and thumbs.
In public, with friends
and definitely family,
I’ve been wearing a disguise –
One that looks like me.
Been terrified to reveal myself
in case I was rejected,
discovered
so bad – not part of the collective.
I imagined the worse case scenario:
That I was what they told me
when so tiny…
Didn’t want to see – real me.
“You’re too sensitive, Maxine!
Stop crying! You’re not fitting our mould.
You’re just not good enough.
Just do as you’re told!”
So I put on my disguise.
I kept myself safe,
but forgot who I was.
Just lived in their disgrace.
So its nice to start to notice
if I feel me pop out.
Encouraged by real Love
to stop having doubt.
That being real me
Is really okay.
And I’m under this mess,
Still alive in some way:
That God’s looking down
Calling real Maxine out –
A special invitation
from the guy with real clout!
“I made you to be
The Maxine you are.
So shed all those layers
you’ve built so far.
And dance, my child,
in your own unique way.
I want you to be happy and free
Forever and a day.
By Maxine
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