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Author Archives: Maxine
Gifts
When a gift is truly received in the heart, it will be seen, not hidden and locked away gathering dust.
What is the point of receiving a beautiful gift if you do nothing with it?
A gift appreciated is a gift displayed and used as intended.
When that gift is Love and Truth are you glad? Do you know it’s presciousness? Will you plant it’s seeds deep in your soul, water, nourish and tend to it? Or will you let this treasure slip through your fingers?
The choice is yours…..this choice is mine. What I do with the gifts I’ve been given is the point….
Volunteer Selection Project: Week 1, April 2019
I am currently in Australia on the Volunteer Selection Programme and the post below my introduction is written by Eloisa who is one of the Directors of Godsway Ltd who explains clearly what the ‘VSP’ is about.
I made it through week 1, but I have to work on some beliefs, attitudes and emotions that I have that are very out of harmony with Love and Truth currently and during week 2 so it is uncertain if I get to the end yet.
However, I can honestly say this is the best thing I have ever done in my life! The gifts I have received:
- Experiencing what real love is and does. (Huge, huge gift)
- Discovering how different that is from my and the worlds version of ‘love’ – ie meeting addictions/bartering/co-dependency
- Having real experiences of living God’s Way and what that entails (what real loving service is about) and what the effects are (very good!!)
- Observing and feeling what it is like to be with people who sincerely want to Love, live truthfully and want to be themselves, rather than be in facade.
- Receiving feedback and guidance from people who really want to know the real me and still care for me “warts and all,” but won’t meet my addictions and want me to experience real happiness and share my gifts.
- Discovering what my main issue is in regards to my personal progress.
- That I don’t know who I really am and that’s okay.
- Learning more about how I feel about sin and how I justify it to “get what I want.”
- Discovering and learning more about the environment and environmental recovery and how essential it is to put God and God’s principles back in the picture for lasting change. (I will write more on why that is another day)
- God’s Way is simple, not always easy, but simple, clear, and consistent.
- That I wasn’t deluding myself that I am a truth-seeker.
- That I have been deluding myself that I am my facade and that this is not a sin.
- Oh and experiencing new nature, creatures and plants!
- There have been many other little gifts too..
Enjoy reading more below…..
The third Volunteer Selection Project commenced on the 8th April 2019.
Background information
The Volunteer Selection Programme was the idea & design of Jesus (Alan John Miller) and Mary Magdalene (Mary Luck) (the mentors of the programme). Jesus and Mary created the structure of the programme and have worked closely with the facilitators, Tristan Miller and Eloisa Lytton-Hitchins to come up with a variety of activities to rapidly assess the attitudes, desires, intentions and motivations of individuals who desire to volunteer for Divine Truth and God’s Way Ltd organisations.
The programme is a trial or a test period designed to identify permanent, passionate and desirous individuals who specifically desire to give to Divine Truth and/or God’s Way organisations. The duration of the programme is 14 contact days over five weeks.
The programme is like a job interview (with practical activities) to assess participants desire to give gifts to the world…
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THE SEEKER
I am a seeker of God –
outside religion.
I am a seeker of God,
after seeking answers –
in many corners
Of my mind.
In many places –
different ‘answers:’
that didn’t give answers
to the questions
I asked.
I am a seeker of God –
outside religion.
I tried religion.
But it taught me
I was nothing, but sinner.
I have sinned.
But not from the start!
It taught me
I needed a saviour,
who wasn’t myself.
So I could get away with murder
because He wiped my slate clean,
every time.
I am a seeker of God –
but not of religion.
Religion’s God
Is angry and wrathful,
Like parents.
Religion told me,
Love and wrath
could exist side by side:
From God.
A God of Love?
Who favours?
And kills?
No logic.
In religion.
I am a seeker of God –
outside mysticism,
or magical
instantaneous transformations.
Pretty plasters over deep wounds
are all appearance.
Chakra clearing,
Fire burning the past.
It doesn’t work.
Just a game I played
for a while,
in my seeking.
No answers there.
No logic:
New age.
I am a seeker of God –
outside of ‘beliefs.’
I didn’t know it was God
I was seeking.
It was Truth
and where was Love?
It turns out that
Truth
Has a lot to do
with God.
Not ‘my’ truth,
not ‘yours:’
Absolute Truth.
It turns out that
Truth and Love
hold hands
in the heart
of God.
I am a seeker of God –
outside religion.
And it’s funny,
ironic, maybe
that Jesus
is back.
Helping me to
seek and find
God,
with new eyes.
A God far better
than religion
ever taught.
And this is Jesus –
outside of religion.
No Saviour;
No Three in One.
(what does that mean?)
He’s just a man:
A son of God,
as I am daughter.
The first man
to learn God’s True Way.
Just like,
Armstrong
was the first man on the moon.
So I am a seeker –
outside of religion,
who is finally
finding her answers,
to the millions of questions
in her heart.
I am seeking
and finding.
I am knocking
and the door is opening.
And it’s better
than I ever imagined.
It’s ALL Love:
NO anger in God.
It’s all Truth:
no mysticism in God.
You may think in my seeking
I have not found.
Or what I have said
is crazy.
But unless you ask,
you will not receive.
Unless you seek,
you will not find.
Unless you knock,
the door will not be opened.
Logic:
To find you must seek.
The arms of God
are broad and wide,
and there is room
for all.
The heart of God
is big enough
to contain all Universes: all life.
Yet He seeks
each individual…
You.
And you, and you…
and me.
A God of awe
and wonder;
of Grace
and Mercy;
of logic and science.
A God
of creativity and intelligence.
A teacher;
a mother;
a father.
Who dreams BIG for us.
The potentials of
Divine Love and Divine Truth
received from God
are infinite and beautiful –
far beyond anything
we currently dream.
I am still seeking,
to know more;
to feel more.
I have a way to go.
But it doesn’t matter
how far I have to go.
It matters
how far I desire to go.
God feels my desire
and he’s preparing a feast –
for me!
“Father, I’m coming.
It might take me a while.
But Father, I’m coming…
Home.”
Update to website
Hi,
This week is the first time I’ve actually seen the adverts that pop up on my website and it’s pretty yucky. I have had a free WordPress for 5 years now and there have been some tough financial times in that period and as I haven’t actually seen adverts before I thought it was okay.
However, seeing the adverts and the types of adverts shocked me today and it feels very against what I’m talking about on my website and isnt nice for anyone reading my blog. When I get back to the UK in May I will look at upgrading the blog as soon as possible.
I am not very WordPress savvy and have managed on a basic level thus far and will need a bit of help and education to upgrade, but the arrival of so many adverts needs to be sorted out so apologies that you may have to put up with them at the moment.
Thank you for you patience in the meantime and I hope you will still find my posts helpful in some way.
Maxine
LEAVING THE SHORE OF SIN
It’s not a great name, but it’s what I am calling it and this is where I am at. When I was born into this world I came into a world full of sin and I see it as a large shore, (clue it in being a large shore – aren’t we meant to set off somewhere?) . My parents, not choosing any different, thought it was normal to dump me on this shore where just in front of me was the sea of emotions. It’s pretty cloudy on this sin shore, not much light or life and any life that is there is tainted by the grey skies. Even the sand looks grey. I am a child and I have a natural curiosity about the water and the little light I can see in the distant horizon. I try to paddle in the water and sometimes I am successful, but my parents panic and they pull me back. They are afraid of the water and I remind them they once had the same curiosity and they don’t want to be reminded of that.
Sometimes they even punish me for going near the water: they hit me or shout at me or shout at each other about who is to blame for my curiosity and they tell me they do this because they love me. It’s hard to tell which one is more afraid and in fact what I discover is that all the adults around me agree with them: it’s not safe in the water and we must do everything we can to avoid going in there. Overtime, because of everybody’s reaction, I learn it is safer to not go near the water, even though sometimes I still want to. I then start to adopt some of the same techniques they use to avoid acknowledging the existence of the the vast expanse of water: not talking about the water, distracting myself from the water in many ways and as I grow into a young adult I am pretty much convinced by the world’s view that to go in the water is not loving and not safe.
Because we never go in the water we get covered in dirt and mud, and the layers get thicker. My parents can hardly move because they are so covered in mud.
I get very confused about love and the sea of emotions and I learn that “love hurts” so I decide to just live my life and enjoy little comforts and pleasures as much as I can. As an adult I go out into the world with these beliefs and even when I feel pain inside I do everything I can to not feel it and in fact I think there is something very wrong with me. I stand on the shore and if I forget I sometimes let my toes in, but it feels so wrong to do it, I step back. I distract myself with food, TV, sex, drinking, working, and doing. I soon start to become like all adults, covered in mud.
I’m not happy though and I start looking for answers, someone to talk to, but find none that really help. I try to be what others want me to be, agree with them. I give them things and they give me things and it feels good for a while. I don’t feel so confused and worthless and it feels a bit like love. But things don’t go to plan and people leave my life or tell me it’s because I am not this or that.
Every now and then without me knowing the water comes up around my feet. On one level, I like the feeling and it helps me understand a few things, but then the fear creeps in and my mother and others attack me when I do it. They scream at me, “Don’t go near the water!” I don’t want to get hurt so I back off and step out of the water.
On the surface I am living, but inside I am dying. The mud gets so heavy my body starts to hurt sometimes and I feel exhausted from the effort of pretending and putting on a facade. I still look for answers sometimes, but other times I just feel hopeless. I convince the world so well that I am what they want, I lose myself and start to believe my own creation. After all this facade and not going in the water has kept me ‘safe’ and people like me and I want them too.
I have a child and I do the same with him. I convince him the water isn’t safe. In fact, I am so afraid of the water now that I do anything to not go near it, including murdering another child I was too afraid to have and harming others. I want to run away from my fear and I demand others help me do that. I want to run away from my loneliness, despair and unworthiness and I demand and get angry at the world if it doesn’t help me avoid the sea.
But over time I notice my world is getting darker, my body develops illness and disease. Every day something hurts and the mud restricts my movement. I feel lost and I don’t know how to receive or give love. My heart is turning to stone and I want to die. Then I come across people who seem happier and know things that exist that we can’t see. I am drawn in by the secret world they seem to know about, full of magical beings. I learn about things like meditation, past lives, chakra clearing. They have found all these quick fixes which I experiment with and for a while I feel better: I feel special.
A few years pass and during that time I have a relationship with a man who also likes the magic and I think it’s wonderful. I feel worthy, sexy and loved and I learn that sex can be ‘sacred.’ But within a year it comes crashing around my ears, he finds someone else and I find myself thrown into the shallows of the waters. I can not make sense of anything, I feel I may drown. I feel unworthy, unsexy and unloved and I don’t want that. I look for answers in the magic, but nothing works and I start to see that in fact it’s not really working for anyone and we are just all pretending.
I am angry and sad, standing on the shore, touching the edge of the ocean and I call for help, for truth. In the distance, I suddenly see the light again and it starts moving towards me. It lights up the sea where I stand and I can see that the water isn’t grey, it’s turquoise and clear and on the horizon there is a land that is lit up, full of colour and bright. The light tells that is where happiness and joy lives and that it’s creator, who is the Creator of all things, has been waiting for me to seek and ask. She is a being so full of love and we are her children, but like a good parent, she wants us to want the Land of Happiness. I want to be there and I learn from the light that to be there I have to swim in the sea of emotions. I have to go a journey to let go of all my false beliefs about Love and seek Truth and a desire to know my Creator, who is Divine and good.
Over the next few years, I paddle in the water a little. I call the light and I learn more about the sea of emotions, about Truth, Love and the Creator. I don’t find it easy as I am still very afraid of the sea and I am not sure who to trust. Sometimes people around me start to attack me, if I try to swim. I am also stubborn and cross and want to do it my way! Why do I have to swim? Why can’t the Creator just send a nice little boat for me and pick me up?
Then I come to now: I am standing on the shore and the light has been teaching me again and I finally understand. I have to swim, I have to feel. In fact that is how I was made to be. The light has in fact done the same journey and I see that the light was once a man and woman like me. I cry with wonder and joy that they were like me and could now be such a beautiful light.
I am confronted with the difference and yet a longing to know what kind of light I might be. I have learnt I am only half of my light, but if I swim I will help the other half of me come to the shore and swim too and that we can live in the Land of Happiness and Joy together. But first I must face the truth of what I have become and the only way to lose the false version of me is to swim in the emotions and let all my sadness and fear go. I will have to feel my anger at the Creator too and for a while the sea will feel very choppy and dangerous, because it is so opposite to the grey shore. But, I must wash the mud off and because it is so thick it will take time.
I will need courage and a strong desire to change and I will need to be comfortable with feeling uncomfortable. I have a lot to feel sorry for, the false me and all the bad things she did and said and thought. All the pain I have had can only dissolve in the sea and it will hurt to come out, but once I feel each pain it won’t come back if I keep swimming and if I have faith, just as God does, that I can do this. He created the sea to be very special and possible for every one of us to swim in.
So here I am making the decision to swim, to keep my eyes on the horizon and let the sea wash off my mud. My toes are in, the water feels unfamiliar and I am afraid, but I am curious about so many things: what light I am, what being mud-free feels like, what the island of happiness and joy is like, how I can repair the damage, especially to my son and the other young souls I harmed.
My family are going to scream at me from the shore, I do not know where I am swimming to, but where I have been has become too painful and too restrictive. The light has given me an idea of the Love just by being the light and tells me the light of God is even greater. I am curious about the Light.
So if you are standing on the shore, feeling weighed down by mud, listening to all the voices that want you to stay there I hope I have made you curious about the sea, the Land of Happiness, the Light you can become and the idea of meeting your Creator: meeting Love face to face and Heart to heart.
Thank you God for Creativity,
Maxine
**Inspired by attending Assistance Group 4.2: Understanding Sin and Its Causes, which will be online in the next couple of months. It’s pure magic and being here has been incredible. Thank you to Mary and Jesus for an education like no other, your endless love and compassion: you walk your walk and demonstrate God on earth. I hope to repay you by joining you in the ocean instead of just talking about it!
BEING HERE – ASSISTANCE GROUP 2019: UNDERSTANDING SIN AND ITS CAUSES
I have just finished the most wonderful week in Australia attending the Divine Truth Assistance Groups: Understanding Sin and its causes. It’s so different actually being here, than, just watching the videos: the love and compassion from Jesus and Mary hits your soul and the teaching we received was incredible and I feel I have some tools to work with and am ‘joining the dots’ on a number of things.
One of the key things that I know I have to surrender to and allow, if I am to progress in any way, is feeling emotions and stop blaming the amount of sin I have committed on my childhood. Just to clarify, Sin is the existence of will or desire in disharmony with God’s Love and Principles (sin of commission) , or the absence of will and desire in harmony with God’s Love and Principles (sin of omission) , whether the will or desire is acted upon or not.
I am not saying that my upbringing had no effect on my decisions and choices: it did. I learnt like all of us false ideas about Love, Truth, Emotions and many other things. We were often forced in someway to agree with our parents and society on many issues. However, as adults we do not have to live with our parents and have the chance to investigate, question and experiment with all these false beliefs and to make different and better choices.
The actual sin we commit is the intention we had, in God’s eyes, not the sinful actions. The actions compound the sin, but it is the motivation to sin that matters: that is the act that works against God’s Laws and Principles. The good news is, find,feel and release the motivation to sin and you will find that you will automatically stop a number of sinful acts and behaviours.
We learn to have faith in the physical world only, in the institutions of family, religion, education, health, media, business, government and country. If we challenge that corrupt faith (Jesus explains this more fully in the talks) we are often attacked, humiliated, belittled, or ostracised. It takes real courage and conviction to do this and some do do it: they choose to love, instead of sin; they choose truth instead of lies, fear and facade; they choose to have humility and pure faith and take loving actions. The wonderful thing is if we change our corrupt faith, because it has governance over morals and values, it will help change those automatically.
God loves us and helps s much as She is able to, but still allowing our free will. Sin creates nothing but pain and suffering. God wants us to give us an education in Love and show us how to have lasting happiness and joy. But, I am not going to try to explain all the details and Jesus and Mary do a much better job and the videos will come on line in time. But just thought I’d give you a taster…
As I mentioned, one of the key areas for me is developing humility and allowing myself to really feel my emotions. To do that I am looking and feeling my corrupt faith in this area and whilst have doing this ( not complete yet) I came up with an analogy that made sense to me and explained my own insanity in not accepting God’s truth about my soul, which is that it is designed to feel and release emotions, not hold onto them. It is what allows a good energy flow and expansion of our soul, which in turn improves the condition of our spiritual and physical bodies and of course our life and relationships. We receive more truth this way too. Holding on to our emotions damages and degrades our soul, impacts and damages our spiritual and physical bodies and our life and relationships. See the next post.. Shore of Sin
Maxine
God’s Way Fundamentals: Introducing our Way of doing “business”
My Undiscovered Self
This piece of writing…well its a unedited poem I guess, was inspired by a talk from the 2016 Assistance Groups that Mary and Jesus created. The whole series are incredible, but this one called the Creation of My Real Self (link below) inspired me and as I have an aspiration to write it came out like this…
I am currently undiscovered
An inkling in my true Father’s eye.
I am currently an unknown
Except to my true Mother’s heart.
I was born and taught by those
Who knew no better
And chose not to question their way.
So I grew undiscovered:
Hiding, hidden, afraid…
A little soul open to all things
Good and bad,
Love and unlove.
In a world, sadly, where unlove is the rule
Of behaviour, thought and action.
I am one of generations of Lost Ones,
Where pretending is our game
And delusion keeps us the same
And insane.
We get given an outfit to wear by our parents.
One that suits their image of us.
That cover is so thick and heavy
Grey, full of dust.
Laden with ancestory fear and pain,
“Don’t be yourself,” it screams,
“It’s too frightening for us.”
“Conform, conform,
Do as you’re told.
Don’t rock the status quo, child,
We know best, of old.”
Old thoughts,
Old habits,
What have they done?
It’s a crazy world of wars.
Individuals, nations, cultures clash.
So no wonder the children are hiding,
Shrivelled by the whip
And sounds of screaming voices..
“Don’t shake the status quo!
It’s a crazy world for sure,
But it’s all we know.”
But ask yourself this question…
Is it really true?
Or is it just an excuse to nothing do?
Driven by terror,
Caused by abuse.
Because I am undiscovered,
Even by my Self.
But in heart there is stirring,
Where is my real self?
The outfit I am wearing feels
Impossibly hard to remove.
But I’ve just undone a button
And a shaft of light shone through.
Because it turns out not all of old know fear.
Some found the light before me
And now they’re right here,
Teaching the Truth:
That there is a different Way.
“Don’t give up,
Keep seeking, look everywhere.
You can lift yourself,
With God’s help, from all despair
And hate and fear.
There is a real you,
That’s calling.
A real you in there.
Forget all you thought you knew.
Knock and the door is answered,
To real and Divine Truth
About Love and goodness,
compassion and joy.
You can have all these things,” they say,
“If you stop hiding, pretending,
Angry, afraid
In apathy, narcissism, so very sad.
Be bold and brave,
Forget status quo!
Have faith in your true Father,
Whose all-seeing eye
And infinite heart
Is calling you home.”
“My child, my love,
My Dear One…you really are there,
The pinnacle of My creation.
And I am so pleased.
In you a seed of gold sits,
Potential,
Waiting for you.
To choose
To grow it, nurture,
Hold it dear.
Water with Truth, leave behind your fear.
Seek the Love that I offer:
Real, everlasting Love…
Not the fake love you’ve known.
See, you can be all the things that you’ve dreamt,
And so, so much more.
Your wings are infinitely expansive
If you choose My Way.
Come home to the true you.
You are a unique and glorious piece of
My eternal tapestry.
Come, my prodigal child
And be welcomed.
Come home to me
And find your Self,
True freedom, wonder and reality:
Beauty like you’ve never imagined could be yours.
I have so many gifts waiting for you
And I long for the gift of your Self to you.”
So I am currently undiscovered,
But I hear the call.
I’m wondering who I am
In God’s tapestry of all.
Love Maxine
THE MOUNTAIN TO GOD
I have borrowed inspiration from Aphraar in Through the Mists* where chapter IV is named The Mount of God. This book and the two that follow are the story of Aphraar’s life once he passes and leaves his earthly body and existence behind. The books are pure magic and I have read them again and again. If you want to know more about spirit life, God, God’s Love for us, His goodness and Laws (which are all about love) and the potential that is possible for us all then read and read them. They are my absolute favourites and I learn new things every time.
I love mountains, always have especially after climbing my first one nearly 30 years ago. It was Snowdon, in North Wales and I climbed it in a pair of borrowed plimsolls on a random trip one June. I was fortunate that it was a warm, dry day as there are parts of the climb where movable pieces of slate and shale can pull you over in worse weather and take you to your peril down the side of the mountain. But to be honest, I never gave it a thought: I was an exhilarated and fearless adventurer and I loved every step up, every step closer to the summit. The air was so clean and the views varying as I climbed until I reached the peak and what I saw took my breath away and made my soul sing. I remember holding my arms up to the sky and even though I didn’t have any thoughts about God at that time in my life, I felt such gratitude for such grandeur and beauty.
Snowdon is only 3,560ft – a small mountain compared to the 29,000 feet of Everest, but I have only managed to climb mountains in the UK so far and it has given me a taste of something: a sense of freedom and wonder, gained by the challenges it offered and it came to me that the journey I am currently on is like that. I have been listening to the amazing talks from the 2016 Divine Truth Assistance Groups and so have been reflecting a lot on my own journey with ‘The Way,’ as Jesus calls it. If you have read my blog you will see it has been a very in and out journey and when I read back on some of my posts, I can see constant misunderstandings about it and myself amid pieces of Truth. It is why I suggest you always refer back to the actual teaching on the Divine Truth website, as my learning has been slow. I can spout off stuff intellectually, but I am talking about my true learning: the soul based, emotional learning. The real stuff!
In early 2012, I was living near Glastonbury – the UK centre of many different, mostly New Age beliefs. It attracts many pilgrims looking for something and I was one of them. I guess you could say that at that time I was living in a valley down from the mountain where there were many paths crossing each other, heading off in different directions, many going round in circles, or coming to a dead end. Now in that valley there are many people who are a bit like cats: you know when a cat falls off a fence it moves so fast to act as if nothing happened and it’s in complete control, pretending nothing did happen…a bit of self delusion to create a cool facade.
When I first arrived at that valley it seemed full of wonder and interest. I saw things I had never seen before, investigated and tried some of them: yes the proverbial kid in the sweet shop. I was lost and I was looking for new experiences and I found them. But you know the thing about sweets? They are not really good for you: they are a big con. They may taste sweet, but they are made of cheap refined sugar, with additives and other nasties in them. They are there to tempt you and there are many sweet makers who tell you lies and woo you with the colour and other sensory delights as you eat their poison.
A bit dramatic you may think, but my experience there showed it to be true. Glastonbury was full of tricksters, misleading paths and lies and we may have been seeking something, but for many of us we were just feeding our sugar addiction because we wanted to feel better, to feel special: we wanted the buzz, the tingle of sherbet on our tongues.
I have a questioning mind and a certain sixth sense and I started to notice things that didn’t feel right, in fact some of it felt very off. I experienced a very addictive relationship – that initially felt sweeter than sugar, but I was tricked by my own addiction and darkened my soul. I became less happy (was it really happiness or just addiction fulfilment?) and less interested in the winding paths and stayed at home more and more. But one day I came home after some crazy event and I shouted out and said, “Whoever you are, Bob, God, Great Spirit – if you are up there I want the truth. I am sick of the lies, the inconsistencies, and the bloody mysteries, please give me the truth.”
I must have meant it, as within 24 hours I had received an email from a friend saying, “Check this out” and there was a link to the “Secrets of the Universe” talks that Jesus did in 2007/8. I watched the first one and then the next one and I sat there with my mouth open, choked up some emotion as something hit my heart and then laughed. Here it was, without realising it, I had sent up a prayer and God answered. Yes, the guy talking said he was Jesus – I’d need to think about that for a bit, but boy everything he said made sense. It was so opposite to the new age stuff I had been feeding off the previous few years, I actually felt relieved and hopeful.
Then it turned out, Jesus and Mary were over for a visit about 10 days later. When I got back home after listening to them (they were just so humble and grounded), I seemed to have moved out of the valley and was now sitting at the bottom of a very large mountain. Well I didn’t know how large it was as the clouds were around the top at the time, but it looked interesting and remember I love mountains, so it was definitely more intriguing than the valley to me.
For the next 18 months, I was excited by it, but also sometimes struggling to not be pulled back into the valley by the sweet addiction and ended up in some interesting situations, mostly because of my mediumship ( which I called channelling then) and I was tuning into so many things without discernment or knowledge. I set up a healing and card reading little place about 3 months after discovering Divine Truth, but I very quickly just got a feeling it wasn’t right in some way so stopped it. But despite this pulling in and out, I couldn’t stop watching the Divine Truth videos and I think it was the “Truth about Reincarnation” talk and the talks on spirits that really made me see that life in the Valley of New Age was not all it thought itself to be.
So I wandered in the valley a little for a while, but with a growing fascination for the mountain and a desire to climb it. I did physically leave Glastonbury early 2014, very sick of it if I am honest and I started my blog as I had decided it was time to try the mountain.
The first attempt up the mountain didn’t go to well. You think reading a book on mountain climbing teaches you how to climb it, but it doesn’t: you can understand a few ideas, but until you put one foot in front of another and equip yourself with the right things, you don’t really know. I will say for the next three years, following that decision, my attempt at the mountain was extremely slow. I have fallen over and slid back down many times; I have even told lies to others to give the impression I am an expert on mountain climbing, even though I have only gone a 100 metres at the very most; I have become very angry and had a tantrum about “how hard it is;” and berated myself for my uselessness and incapability to get farther. During these times I was often stomping round the base of the mountain or sulking, not moving an inch, throwing the occasional rock upwards.
Much of my failure has been because my motivation was wrong and I wanted to do it my way. I wanted to get up the mountain so that I could quickly forget the past: the valley of New Age, the City of Sin, the Prison of Fear and the Cage of Family. I wanted to be able to magically float up the mountain and just be at the top enjoying the view, congratulating myself I had done it and everything was different.
Well, you can’t get up a mountain like that apparently. Last year, I finally started to look a bit more closely about what my motivation was and what I had been doing wrong. So forget the sudden transformation to the top – what is this mountain all about anyway? What is so special about this mountain? I started by looking at who has already got higher than me on the mountain and what were they doing that I wasn’t.
Well near the top was Jesus – do I feel he is Jesus? Yes. Why? Because he seems to know how to get up this mountain; because he seems to walk his walk; practice what he teaches and understand more about this mountain than anyone I have ever heard: “by their fruits ye shall know them.” Coming up after him, bit further down was Mary and she is exactly the same – walking her walk. Both with courage, care and openness: unselfishly happy to show the rest of us the way.
There are a few others who have started the climb and in all these people I have seen positive changes in them over the years. Watching Jesus and Mary get happier and closer to each other is pretty awesome and inspiring. But with all the successful climbers, what is the common factor and why do they want to climb the mountain?
What I learnt by watching and listening to them is that their motivation was different – they had an interest in the Creator of the mountain. They want to discover more about how the mountain got there and why, what was its purpose, who created it and what does it say about the Creator of such an amazing, majestic thing? So now, I have been doing the same, learning about the Creator, looking with fresh eyes and questioning things I thought were true.
I also had a realisation about the climb up the mountain, remembering my first every climb all those years ago: that I enjoyed every step and even when others told me it could be dangerous I didn’t stop. I also realised that being harsh on myself, pushing myself up the mountain would ruin the journey. I wouldn’t notice the things along the way: the mountain flowers; the way the rocks are formed; small patches of various grasses; butterflies and other small creatures who inhabit tiny homes there; the taste of beautiful mountain waters and the breath of it’s clean air.
How can I know how to truly climb a mountain, learn everything it has to teach me about myself if I try to fight the natural way it shows me to go. The mountain and its Creator want me to enjoy the journey: to be patient with myself, to have courage, and to drink the waters of Truth it offers. Because a mountain is magnificent, beautiful, strong, steady and if we take our steps with patience and awareness it will hold us and lift us to new heights and that is what the Creator wants – for us to lift to new heights: to bring us close to Him, to enjoy and experience what has been made for us and what we can co-create with Her.
You cannot pick up a violin and know how to play its beautiful harmony in a moment: only patience, desire and endurance will lead you to play it skilfully and passionately. You will make mistakes, you will learn from them just as every time your feet slip on the mountain, you become more aware of the right way to climb its great heights.
This is the Way and the Way is all about wanting to understand and to know the Creator of the majestic mountain which rises much higher than any earthly mountain can. Its views and the beauty that await I cannot comprehend, but I am finally beginning to understand it’s not about some magic wand to wash away my pain. It’s about my desire, my will and my willingness to be humble to the journey and to be loving with myself along the Way. God waits patiently for me, she wisely knows that the journey has to be done to appreciate and treasure the lessons and gifts She has to offer. God knows that with each step the magic is happening and that the heavy rucksack (of my pain) I start with will become lighter and lighter until it disappears and I suspect my vision will become clearer and clearer too. ** Why not? So that I can experience the heights of being near my Creator. I am curious to know what that will feel like: to be in the presence of Love, as Jesus and many others teach. This is my hope and I still know so little, but what I am learning bring revelations and new views. I am too curious to stop.
When I started this blog – I said I was seeking Truth with little understanding of what that meant. I still am, but now I am shifting into seeking Truth about God and I feel this is where I will truly find myself and I will not be alone.
So fellow mountaineers or potential mountaineers, put on your boots, bring all your investigating gadgets and experimenting tools. Ensure you have plenty of pockets to fill with faith as you climb, be humble to the process and allow the discovery to open your heart along the Way, so that as you climb you learn to breathe in the gift of love and breathe out to gift it to others. Be patient, be kind, allow rest, and stay steadfast, “for he shall have all men saved.” *
I shall let dear Aphraar, have the final words,
“I realised the unspeakable mercy and love that had been exercised in the design displayed before me…..My previous conceptions fell thus short of the reality of the scene which lay before me as I stood upon that mountain side; yet this was not heaven itself, but only one of the halting places within the ranch of God’s infinitude, where homeward-bound souls could rest and refresh…towards their Father’s house of many mansions.
…For as language fails me to express the quality of the scene unfolded to my view, so also am I powerless to convey an indication of the area over which that celestial panorama was unrolled…Did I say it had plains and streams? It were far more true to say my eye wandered over vast continents, fruitful and picturesque, each bounded by proportionate seas and oceans…The gardens of Babylon were forgotten in the contemplation of such horticulture attainments….. The rose of Sharon blanched its cheek in the face of rich blossoms; and the aroma from the sweet incense of Jerusalem only became a type of perfume wafted by breezes from those trees which are robed in a living green..
Peoples of every nationality, intermingled without distinction; no cold formality, condescension, or patronage was visible among them, but rather a recognition that each possessed some power to augment the happiness of his fellow, and that the society of all was necessary for joy to reach its full ideal. It was a sacred, holy sight to gaze upon…
My eye moistened, and I bowed my head in gratitude as I received the revelation, and turning to my companion, I asked:
“What is this place?”
“The Mount of God, one of the vestibules of heaven.”
Maxine Bell@2019
*All quotes taken from ‘Through the Mists: Leaves from the Autobiography of Aphraar Volume 1’ Recorded by Robert James
**These are growing discoveries about God, and much has been felt reading Aphraar’s story, as well as The Padgett messages, nature and of course the Divine Truth teaching. But true knowledge of God comes from opening to receiving Her love and I may have let one small moment happen, which led me to cry for an hour. I am scared of surrendering, and I have old false beliefs from religion I’m still shaking off. I still do not have a definite knowledge of God or His existence yet: I am seeking and investigating with a growing desire by educating myself from books, talks and use of my own logic and I find in that it’s impossible not to open to God’s goodness sometimes. May this grow in me so that what I share becomes more full of truth. Besides it’s always good to investigate yourself.
There are a wealth of talks about Relationship with God on http://www.divinetruth.com or search on the Divine Truth channel on YouTube.
