BREAKING OPEN

Broken Heart x

 

I’m breaking open my heart tonight
I’m shattering the shell
That built up around its hurting beat
That I grew to know so well

I’m letting down my walls tonight
Brick by brick their coming down
Looking out my prison cell
Where only fear was to be found

I’m asking God to be right here
As I try to set me free
From the hell of past traumatic stress
Ugly things I didn’t want to see

I’m getting on my knees to pray
As I fall down to the floor
I’m giving up my mask of strength
I can’t hold it anymore

I’m breaking open my heart tonight
Like not many, you may not know
That holding on destroys
And suppression is our foe

I’m going to get to know these gifts
Of humility and surrender
I’m tired of being static rocks
Be the river flowing instead yeh

I’m breaking open my heart tonight
I know it won’t be easy
But I’ve tried all else so it seems
And they never did please me.

My God is here right by my side
With love that blows my mind
And makes me want to open up
To treasure I know I can find.

I’m letting down my walls tonight
To whatever I have kept within
All feeling and emotion
All love, all good, all sin.

It’s in the plan to find the truth
To heal all error inside me
I’m getting on my knees tonight
To open and to find ME.

Advertisements

THE TRUTH OF IT ALL

Image

May your heart open in a cosmic explosion of Light,

May passionate desire for the Divine, dance in your Soul,

May all the veils be torn from your Eyes.

May you hear the roar of Loves fire within.

May you know the truth of it all.

May every breath you take, breathe you back to God

May every step be forward, inward, to your true Self

May every look help you to see God’s Way

May every sound lead you to Peace.

May you know the truth of it All.

May you know this path of the Brave.

May you know this path of Passion.

May you know this path of Humility.

May you know this path of Surrender

May you know the truth of it All.

May you know this path of God’s Love…

In truth, there is no other path.

WHAT IF….

Image

WHAT IF…..

Our concept of family was wrong….

What if…
We do not own our children, they do not belong to us…
What if….
They are not even OUR children,but we are God’s children,
All of us brothers and sisters.
What if..
Parents are just the physical vehicle for a soul to incarnate,
created by their true parent: Mother/Father God.
What if…
We are NOT the controllers or security guards of our children,
but instead just temporary teachers and guides..
What if…
We are not meant to tell our children WHAT to do,
but are meant to just let them experience as much as they choose,
and just teach them the consequences.
What if…
There is never a reason to punish or judge a child, only to love them through all their mistakes.
What if …
We do not deserve respect just because we are the adult,
but rather earn it by demonstrating loving behaviour in this world.
What if…
We do not need to be right all the time,
but are meant to teach the children we are in fact imperfect, wounded
and God is the perfect parent, never withdrawing love.
What if,
There are not just a few people – “family” – who we are meant to love
more than others.
What if…
We are meant to love ALL our brothers and sisters, all over the world, equally.
What if..
The main purpose of being a “parent” is to help a new soul discover who they truly are, to tell them about our true ever-loving parent.
What if…
We have been doing it wrong all this time and there is another way…

Look at the world around you,
Look at your own family,
Look at what caused the pain in you…

Something logically, says we may have got it wrong…
Something, logically says, there is another way…..

Maxine Bell
( Inspired by my journey in getting to know God and the parent/children talks on divinetruth faq )

ODE TO THE SEA

Image

I have danced with the ocean many times,

Rode it’s waves in my dreams.

I have dived deep into its depths

And found secret places in it’s mysteries

I have resonated with it’s strength,

it’s wildness, it’s calm and it’s life.

I have crashed like the waves on the shore,

Dissolved only to rise again.

The sea has saved me many times in my strife.

She has listened to all my sad tales.

I have cried deep from my heart to her soul,

And found peace in its constancy.

Songs and poems have sprung from my Being,

each time I have walked the shores.

I’ve listened to the breath of the ocean,

in and out, as it matched my own.

It has been my haven, my heaven,

My peace and my joy,

Deeply connecting with One and all.

God is felt without effort, by the water.

I have rode the waves on the boats,

Let the wind blast through my hair,

Felt the pulse of it’s energy

vibrate through the every cell of my body.

In troubled times, when I was young,

and even now as I’m older,

The sea holds me fast and honestly,

Until I find my truth again.

It has been a playground too,

A fun fair of water and tides.

In it I am weightless and free,

Feel so alive.. So me.

My confidant, my ally and protector,

My light in the darkness.

Being near you again, old friend,

I can jump with joy,

shout with gratitude.

Thank you God for this creation.

Without you, I don’t know where I would be.

Thank you God, my Parent, Thank you.

Thank you Sea

For All you have been to me…

Maxine Bell

VOICE OF THE DAUGHTER

Image

Firstly, I have updated our “About Us” section if you want to know a bit more about our path and what inspires us. It will also help you understand why we are so keen to feel all of our emotions and heal on a soul level.. This poem is pretty raw and because of that a bit erratic in its form, but I have written it as it came out ( as I do for most of my poems) … Most of us find the injuries around our mother pretty hard to deal withespecially as society  has “mother” as a bit of an untouchable in a way. But as children, our mothers are our main carers so what happens around them impacts us deeply. This is not just about my mother, this is about her mother and her mother’s mother and many mothers. So much is done unconsciously, but its never to late to see the truth of our unloving behaviour, even though it feels really, really uncomfortable. However, if we want change, to move forward, we need to tell the truth, without blame, just the truth. Turns out our mothers are human and flawed like the rest of us…

VOICE OF THE DAUGHTER

I am the Unloved

The Unlovable.

I am the doubtable

The un-floutable,

The One not good enough, not ever.

I wore my heart on my sleeve..

You smashed it

Bashed it

Whacked it,

Smothered it.

You were meant to show me love,

but you taught me shame.

You were meant to let me grow,

but you just sent out, I was to blame

for all the troubles in your life,

for feeling trapped,

locked in strife.

You never took responsiblity

for the pain you caused.

Instead I thought it was me

I was the one.. flawed.

Floored by your anger,

Your hate, your fear.

You could cry,

I wasn’t allowed tears.

Narcissistic Queen

How cruel you could be.

Rant, blame and shame

at the top of your tree.

You didn’t know just

How much you manipulated me.

I knew you were wounded,

hurting deep below

But instead of owning it,

you gave out the blows.

I was 1, 2 and 3,

4, 5 and 6

Under the spell of your tricks.

7, 8 and 9 and so it goes on.

I am under your thumb.

Hooked, line and sunk,

nearly drowned in you sick, little games.

No matter, the cause, I want to say STOP!

I will not, any longer, be your puppet.

I will not, any longer,

believe all the lies.

Or that I was to blame.

A child who was innocent

is shouting back,

loudly saying NO, so that you hear.

I know you were hurt as a child,

But is didn’t mean hurt me too.

It was a chance for you to

change the cycle of pain,

and face the truth.

So hooks I remove you

I take a step back.

It’s time for me now

It’s time to cry all the tears

I suppressed again and again.

It’s time to release the pressure at last.

To lift the weight from my soul.

Every feeling let out now

Will help me know

I am not what you said I was.

I am God’s child ( as are you).

Time to break the chain,

To feel,

To renew.

So go from my door,

Leave me be, for now.

Give me space to breath

Find out who I am.

Free from the shadow,

of childhood pain.

When tears have flowed,

my soul will gain,

the chance to express

Its beauty once more.

To open my heart,

Open the door to

Love and joy, all the things I forgot.

So now I say Stop,

to your unloving behaviour,

from future attacks.

This girl, this woman

is fighting back.

Through anger, through fear,

Through terrible grief.

To shift my beliefs.

Unlovable to Loveable

Unloved to Loved.

FINDING ME

FINDING ME

I came here to learn how to dance my dance
I came here to learn what song was mine
I came here to paint my very own picture
I came here to find love Divine.

But from when I was very tiny
Those assigned with my precious care
Forgot I had my own story to write
Because there own seemed so unfair.

This is the story of generations
From whence we all but came
The brothers and sisters before us
Got so lost, hidden in shame.

So the sister, assigned my mother
My brother, my father became
Tripped the steps I took in dance
Let my picture run away with the rain.

They silenced the song I tried to sing
They threw back the love in my face
My light was too bright for them
In the darkness of the human race.

Their very own hearts lay shattered
Their dreams fallen deep in the pit
So they held me and my individual life
To the very same fate, unlit.

For many years I walked in the shadows
Invisible, unseen and unheard.
I limped across the craggy rocks of life
Clipped, heavy wings of a bird.

But somewhere inside a voice kept calling
“My child, my child are you there?
Remember, remember, innocent one
Remember I love you , I care..”

The voice in my heart kept stirring
The sound in my throat unheard.
I tried to sing again and again.
Like the sweet , sweet blackbird.

I never gave up, I just knew
To try, to hope was some-thing.
To the sound that eventually came
Out from deep within: to sing.

I started to find my very own song.
I started the steps of a dance
I painted my picture one stroke at a time
Love affair with my self: such romance.

Then in time I knew that voice
The one that had always been there
The sound of my true mother and father
Now found through faith and prayer.

This parent loved without condition
Myself, and each and all
Waiting forever for all of us
To get up, to dance, not fall.

The journey home is sometimes rough
Much harder than I would like.
But this is a battle for my soul.
I will never give up the fight.

As God, my Father, my Mother true
Has loved me for all time.
Waiting for me to know myself
In purity and love Divine.

Maxine 2014