FEAR

 

daily-bible-verse-devotion-fear-love

A couple of months ago I was stood on train station platform at a time that I was reflecting a lot on fear and its impact in my life and the impact of fear in the world. I was looking at the advertising boards and had an image of giant posters with just the word FEAR printed on them in giant letters and I knew that in that moment that would be enough to make people afraid. That’s how big fear is in our lives – just the word can cause an emotional reaction and trigger our fear.

Since I first started reflecting and attempting to feel fear in recent months, the corona virus has hit the planet and today when I was in the supermarket the fear was palpable, but more than that were the emotions that were present to avoid the fear: panic, judgement and anger.

The root meaning of the word crisis is opportunity which I find amazing and in many ways represents to me how God created everything: there is always an opportunity and a different choice to make, even in the darkest moments. It is the Law of Attraction in play, offering us a chance to choose to feel our emotions and discover the Truth!

Last week when I sat with my fear, triggered by numerous pieces of news and social media posts about the virus and let myself feel some I felt lots of fear wrapped up in the initial feeling: fear of death because I don’t want to die in my current soul condition; fear that I haven’t been able to make my mark on the world as me, the real me; fear I haven’t done enough, been enough and more. Then it suddenly became the fear that permeated my childhood: that my mother would die and would abandon me. Her suicide attempts, the time I sat by her bed trying to wake her, trying to save her. I didn’t fully feel it, but it was good to just let myself travel down the fear for a while, which is when I realised the gift in this virus and what it may be asking us to experience emotionally. In fact, I suspect that all the unfelt fear in us has created it.

I noticed a few posts, encouraging people not to watch too much news, not to feed the fear, in fact to “stay calm” and tune into things that take your mind off of it: some of these posts were by teachers and coaches that have a lot of influence. But this is the wrong advice – dont ignore your fear, just feel it, experience and like me you may be surprised what layers are unpeeled.

I think one of the things that is happening, is that people are confusing panic with fear. It’s taken me a while to understand the difference and when Mary said that panic is an addiction to help us avoid our fear (Divine Truth Assistance Group 2014) I really had to sit with that one – it messed with my head for a while.

Panic seems like fear because it can feel awful, it can make us hyperventilate and feel extremely anxious, our heart racing, as in a panic attack. It tends to make us jump around and is frantic and grabs a lot of attention from others around us and actually ‘infects’ groups of people.

Definition of panic (dictionary.com):

A sudden overwhelming fear, with or without cause, that produces hysterical or irrational behavior, and that often spreads quickly through a group of persons or animals. (that is we act out in a way that helps us avoid fully feeling the fear)

Fear on the other hand is all encompassing and when you choose to feel it fully, you don’t think, you’re not able to run to the supermarket for toilet rolls: it has you in its grip, emotionally, in that moment. You can’t really function and at its extreme, when it is terror, you become almost blind and deaf and you shake uncontrollably. These extreme feelings of loss of control are what frighten us so much and often why we don’t want to feel fear. We have become afraid of fear itself.

The dictionary definitions of fear (dictionary.com):

a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.

I have done a lot of personal reflection on fear in recent months and a few weeks ago it came out in long verse in my journal. I have recorded it as an audio file:

 

It has been quite painful to see how much I have let fear lead my life; how much I have lived from fear; how many times I have made decisions from fear.  That is I have wanted to avoid the experience of feeling my fears so much that I have I have made choices in addiction and in survival mode a lot of time: flight, fright or freeze.

For example, I have moved so many times and at times told myself it was a new adventure and that I didn’t fit in. I felt unhappy so I have thought that moving would improve things, but I was running and wanting to avoid the underlying grief I felt and the fear that I was truly unlovable and unacceptable as a person. I have moved at such a pace and never given myself to really feel the truth – I wanted to avoid the pain. I learnt this in my childhood, but sadly I have continued the pattern and added it too it.

I can often observe how fear impacts events in the world, but I am finding it harder to see the harm my fear has done to others around me. I am aware of some of the damage to my son, but I know I have a lot more truth to face in this area. We often play down the damage fear does. We are somewhat quicker to acknowledge the harm anger does (though even here we lack feeling the full truth of its damage) but with fear we justify it constantly: “I can’t do that, I am too afraid too,” and we often receive a lot of sympathy from others.

Many of Jesus talks include information and teaching about fear, which indicates the importance of this emotion if we don’t feel it and what can change if we do. Some talks have fear in the title, but you will also find it covered in talks about emotions, truth and other topics so I can’t list them all, but I have put a few links at the end of this post.

Some key points that Jesus said:

  • Fear is a False Expectation Appearing Real. It is an untruth.
  • Feeling fear will unlock other emotions
  • Fear always suppresses desire. I f you are not feeling your desires passionately, you must be afraid.
  • We can choose to feel fear. It is just an emotion and God created us to feel all emotions, including fear.
  • Fear rejects truth
  • Fear prevents you from being at one with God
  • Holding onto fear prevents truth from changing your life.
  • Truth and error on any one subject cannot exist in our soul at the same time so we need to release error: releasing error, including fear has to be done emotionally. It is not an intellectual process.
  • All fear is what causes physical pain and disease in some way.
  • Fear is about suppressing, denying and controlling the underlying emotions.
  • Fear is a life of constraint
  • If we act in fear there are penalties on our soul so it increases our pain and suffering.
  • Every time we are afraid for our children’s welfare we are no longer loving them – we’re controlling them. There is no love in fear.
  • If you are not feeling your fear, you are living in it.
  • Living in fear means you are surrounded by spirits who want you to remain afraid, often so that they can manipulate and control you. They surround and oppress a person in fear. Anything that is false can be manipulated. If you feel your fear fully you will no longer attract these spirits and you’ll start to feel you desires again.
  • Embrace your passions and desires, it will trigger your fear so that you can feel it and release it.
  • God is not afraid for you, not afraid of your choices and not afraid of what happens to you.

That last point is a big statement – it tells us a lot: our irrational our fear is, because if God is not worried for us then logically we must ultimately be safe. In the Divine Truth Assistance Groups of 2016 Jesus draws a vase or pot on the board, which represents the soul – the error in our soul we need to release. He asks the audience how much of that pot is fear and the response is that a large proportion of what we have to release is fear. But we are wrong and what is a large chunk for us is in reality just a slither in that pot. Most of what we have to release is the sin we have done in order to avoid feeling our error emotions, including of course fear. There was silence for a moment as the penny dropped. At home, watching online, I rewound the video and listened again.

Gosh we have made such a big deal of fear, we have raised it up into an insurmountable mountain when in reality it is a hill. We have justified holding onto it and living in it, growing it in our imaginations to avoid feeling our underlying grief, oppressing our hurt child. I can now see that is how I have lived most of my life – living in fear, making poor choices, not fully expressing my desires or pursuing my passions and in fact self-sabotaging and compromising myself hugely. I have not shared the gift of myself with others and have projected fear out into the world and become part of the problems fear creates: war, injustice, prejudice, anger, violence, neediness and narcissism.

I have dishonoured who God made me to be and hidden in the shadows. All this makes me feel very sad. In fear, I did not make the most of the opportunity I had in Australia last year at the Volunteer Selection Programme: choosing fear over truth.

I have felt like giving up a number of times, which is giving into fear and it’s time to stop that – it has become an addiction to live in fear and stay small. Well, I’m bored of that and I have been experimenting with my desires, looking back at little Maxine and her personality and I beginning to see and like some of it. There is a lot more to me, to all of us. Living in fear is like being in monochrome, when God made us to be in technicolour and I like colour, lots of colour!

Maxine@2020

Talks on Fear on the Divine Truth YouTube Channel or Divine Truth FAQ YouTube Channel. There is so much information on fear – this is just some of the talks:

Earth Changes, Fear and Desire parts 1 and 2:

Fear is Your Friend parts 1 and 2 ( 2008)

Fear Revisted (2009)

The Human Soul: Processing Fear (2009) Parts 1 and 2

Fear and Addiction (2012)

Facing My Fear of Emotion (2016)

 

 

CHOCOLATE OR HEAVEN?

 

 

All these years, for me,

Chocolate was heaven;

My go-to;

My comfort; My friend.

I travelled miles

In distance and money

To have it.

I told myself it was love

A “Fuck you world

I don’t need you!

I have my friend,

She wont hurt me.”

 

The tingle on my tongue

As I took a bite,

A sigh of relief:

There was something good in my life.

 

Did it bring me wealth

Or success?

No

Did it bring me a home?

Love?

Self worth?

No. No…No

Did it make all my dreams come true?

No.

 

In fact, my need for it

Added to my shame.

I chose it before company,

Friends, health…

In fact, it lied to me.

It didn’t bring me joy at all.

It just gave me a fix,

A place to hide.

 

That’s Addiction** for you:

It drives your life.

You wake looking for the next fix.

You lie and cheat for it,

To yourself and others

It prevents you from finding

What’s real.

It will drag you to hell,

Everytime you inject your heart

With whatever your fix is.

It becomes the God

You worship,

As it slyly pulls you down

Its slippery slope,

Heavy chains weighing down your soul.

 

So, if you want to fly upwards

Makes sense, it will have to go.

You’ll need to leave its weight behind,

Resist its pull.

Keep you eyes on the blue skies

Beyond the clouds,

Where we choose something

Truer and greater.

 

Jonathan Seagull* knew this.

He flew higher and higher,

Believing in something greater.

He found himself in his flights,

Discovered there were

No limits,

But his choices.

 

He needed nothing but the

Desire for three things:

Truth,

All he could become,

And what or who created him.

Eventually, he flew close to the light

Of the Greatest One,

And found heaven.

 

The rewards of heaven

Were beyond anything earth had offered.

Far, far outweighing the desperate lives

Of his brothers and sisters:

Their belief in stasis; tradition;

Playing safe; fighting for survival,

Craving scraps; getting their fix

In repetition, need and numbness.

Just as I’ve done.

 

A life led by the next fix:

Clouding my vision;

Shrinking my heart;

Hiding my soul:

The real me.

 

Jonathan Seagull moved my heart,

Confronted my beliefs,

Gave a taste of heaven,

Where I can glow in the light

Of the Greatest One.

It’s now my choice

And yours.

 

Chocolate is just one of many things

To leave behind

In the name of finding so much more.

What will it be

Addiction or Love?

Truth or Lies?

Chocolate or Heaven?

 

@Maxine Bell 2019

I gave up chocolate this week. I have done so before, but have always said, “oh well it won’t be forever.” But in the end I have replaced it with something else or gone back to it because I have felt what I am using the chocolate for. There is a great clip in the 2014 assistance group where Mary tells a story how she made some cacao balls to bring to the group until she realised she was using them to avoid her fear. When she realised this she didn’t want the cacao. An exchange occurs between Jesus and Mary and a participant who’s anxiety that she may never have chocolate again was so vivid. How many of us feel like that? Never have chocolate again? What!!? The world would agree with us too- why would give up such pleasure?

I realised, we’re missing the point. If we never have chocolate again so what? There is a bigger picture here – the potential of a beautiful eternal life, as described in the Robert James Lee Trilogy and as Jesus and Mary are teaching. That’s what Mary understood – that the cacao didn’t matter and it wasn’t loving to avoid her emotions. The loving action was to feel her fear, let her soul expand with e-motion.

So this time I gave up chocolate with the thought that I may never have it again and that was okay.  I have lots of other addictions to deal with too, but this was a tangible one to experiment with. Besides, if I was a heroin addict, I wouldn’t be telling myself, “oh you’ll be alright to have some in a few months – you just need a break.” Or others, wouldn’t be telling me to not give up the pleasure of it – why deprive yourself.

We live in a world full of people with quite a small vision for themselves. But it seems God has a much larger one for us. So its, instant gratification vs eternal benefits.

*                   *                    *                    *

*Jonathan Seagull refers to the story by Richard Bach called Jonathan Livingston Seagull. It is an amazing story, an analogy of the life of Jesus, is my intepretation of it: vision, love and tremendous courage. If you read it, make sure you get the complete edition with the rediscovered Part Four.

**When I talk about addiction I mean any physical or emotional thing we do that helps us avoid emotions. It can range from things like chocolate, which can seem quite harmless, through to co-dependency in relationships where we barter. eg If you make me feel safe, I will cook your dinner every night. The thing is no addiction is harmless – it involves a huge compromise of ourself, our values, morals and ethics. We harm ourselves and others. You can recognise addiction in youself, just by your reaction when you don’t get it – you get irritated, angry, demanding because addiction is a feeling of desperately needing something or someone. It is selfish. We all have many many addicitions. We can’t have addictions and Love. We will in the end have to choose.

DRIVING

cruella-deville-crazy-driving

(Image from 101 Dalmations – Cruella da Ville) 

I am taking more notice of my life these days and I have discovered that the truth is in the everyday things we do and how we live. For instance, driving: something most of us do most days.

I started to pay attention to what kind of driver I am and my emotional reactions to it and to other drivers. It told me quite a lot about myself and I don’t think I have discovered all of the truth its revealed yet or even assessed it all correctly, but I am attempting to.

A few weeks ago, I had a minor car accident, when someone drove into the front left of my car as I pulled out of my drive way. She was driving too fast, but if I rewind to how I felt that morning I see that I got into my car, ungrounded and pushing down emotions I didn’t want to feel. I had woken up really not wanting to go to work: I have been struggling with work since I got back from Australia (my trip to Australia shone a light on my life and nothing I thought was real has felt real). I felt very tired and upset and really had to force myself to get ready. I was a bit late and I did that very English thing (maybe not just English) of “pulling myself together” and got into the car, pulled forward, looked left quickly, didn’t see any oncoming car, pulled further out and then there was this big bang, a jolt, everything went into slow motion and then I was sat there motionless, stunned, with bits of my car and the other drivers car on the road.

I’m not certain, but I think it happened to show me I wasn’t paying attention to how I was feeling: I was “shoulding” myself, pushing myself, telling myself to be responsible and go to work. (My facade is SO pushy, a bully). It was nothing about the truth. It was all about the lies that made me do something I really didn’t want to do and avoid what I felt: sadness, fear, pain, frustration, powerless. It was also a few days after a disgreement with my mother, where she didn’t like what I said; where she wanted me to maintain a facade of myself that she wants me to be to suit her view of herself as a good mother. The car was written off and it was a car she had bought for me – a first financial gift from her that I had infact accepted insincerely, feeling it was owed to me. I ignored my conscience and led with my fear ( my old car was not in a good state) and anger at the time.

Before the accident, I had started paying more attention my driving, because sometimes I am really shitty to other drivers: impatient, judgemental, critical, pushy, nasty even. A lot of these things are how I am with myself at times, but why am I like that with other drivers? Either way it’s very unloving.

So everytime I started to get angry, judgmental, condescending ( all parts of my facade)  even I started to ask why? What was going on under that? Being angry meant I wanted an addiction met. Wanting an addiction met meant I had a fear or other emotion I didn’t want to feel.

A few examples:

“Come on drive faster! Should you be out on the road? Do you need your eyes testing, you keep putting your brakes on?” 

ie you should drive the way I think you should drive! I want to be in control or I’m afraid you’ll cause a crash.

This happens when I am late for work or something else and there are a number of different emotions and layers of emotions going on, depending on the situation. I may be judging myself for being late or angry with myself or angry that I even have to be at the place I am meant too. Then under that I am afraid of what others may think of me or I may be “found out” in someway. I am often also avoiding some sadness and pain over areas of my life and how limited it is. The layers can go on, into my lack of self love or worth.

“Arsehole, you cut in front of me and it’s my fault!?” ( as a man makes rude sign and swears at me)

I don’t like the anger being projected at me, but rather than feel the fear and sadness, I project back at him. I deny how it really made me feel because I don’t want to feel powerless and terrified.

There are many other examples, but I hope you get the drift of it. Looking just at my driving is showing me how unloving I can be; how much my facade controls everything; how I want it that way because I am afraid and/or unwilling to feel the other emotions that I judge as weaker, or wrong or I am just so used to suppressing. I believe this to be normal and in fact observe it around me in so many others. I deny there is another way to be, push aside my hurt child and deny any chance of the real me being present.

But it has been so useful too of course. The truth of my unlovingness isn’t good to feel, but it is the truth and I find if the anger starts to come or it just happens, I catch it quicker, breathe and ask myself, “What’s really going on Maxine? What don’t you want to feel?” This sometimes lead to me feeling some of the fear or some sadness ( tiny amounts at the moment). Or sometimes I have a really good scream and rant in the car, but not at others.

So two main points here:

We have a choice: to be unloving or to love (ourselves, others, our environment)

Truth is revealed in the everyday things – what annoys us, irritates us, how we react to minor events, other people etc.

God doesn’t keep secrets – he’s telling us all the time: we just need to pay attention – desire to know, see, hear, feel. Have the courage to see the truth of our life: we can’t change what we deny, ignore, minimise or judge.

 

 

How do we know what is our facade?

facade self

We need to talk about our facade if we want to change: we need to understand why we have it, want it and feel about it to change and we can’t have a relationship with God in our facade. God wants a relationship with the real us. Today, I was talking to someone about our facades and how ingrained it is: how convinced we are that it is us and so live in a lot of denial that we live in this facade at all and hate it being confronted because we want it so much. In fact, in our current society we are even encouraged to live in facade: through social media, celebrity, vanity, work, families and constantly judge anyone who does not fit our version of “the norm.” We are constantly projected at to not be ourselves and we do the same to others. The older we get the more ingrained our facade gets so it can seem like an almost impossible task to crack through this tough shell. It isn’t easy and Jesus describes the deconstruction of the facade as the hardest thing you’ll ever do.

A blog I wrote 2014 was about this cracking of that shell: https://thetruthofitall.co.uk/category/the-three-selves/ . When I read it now I can actually see that I was in a lot of facade writing it. I had had some intellectual realisation, but not a soul-based emotional realisation and hence here I am still in facade most of the time… I am clear evidence that without emotionally feeling about my facade, why I have it and the sin in having it, nothing really changes.

I don’t think in 2014 I really understood the depth of my facade or my fears about letting it go; my addiction to it and its addictions. I am still learning, but I am now trying to pay more attention to it and this involves a lot of cringing; a lot saying to myself “Maxine, you’re in facade, what are afraid of feeling; what are your avoiding?” or not paying attention and staying in facade for whatever reason i.e.  I want something from my environment/ am willing to barter myself for this.  I thought it would help if I share what helps me and some information that really gives me no excuse for not knowing when I am in facade. I will put the links below this post, if you want to read or watch in more detail.

In 2014 Jesus and Mary ran their second assistance group which contained essential information for anyone wanting to know how to progress, including information on understanding the three parts of ourselves that currently exist: the real self (the undamaged self God created), the hurt self (created by your environment and yourself) and the facade self (created by your environment and yourself to avoid the other two selves). Jesus had talked about this material before, but these talks brought together previous information in a very clear and direct way. Part of the reason was many people had been listening to Divine Truth for years by then (it was 2 years for me at the time, but of course it’s 7 years for me now) and showing no progress, because they had not understood or more likely not wanted to know that they were in facade and why that is such a big problem. I recommend listening to these talks as many times as you need to.

But also on the website Jesus published an outline for each talk and I have printed off the “Understanding Self: Introduction” because it summaries why we are stagnant and don’t develop our real selves and gives a fairly comprehensive list of adjectives about each self and I use this list to help me identify when I am in facade.  For more detail, please refer to the links below this post.

But just to give you an idea, this is what Jesus says and it taken directly from his outline on www.divinetruth.com:

My real emotional self:

  • Is sensitive, aware, perceptive and insightful
  • Is expressive, animated, communicative, open and unrestrained
  • Is honest, truthful, sincere, frank, candid, blunt and transparent
  • Is adventurous, courageous, daring, bold, creative, brave and audacious
  • Is curious, inquisitive, questioning, probing, searching and enquiring
  • Is emotional, feeling and sensing
  • Can develop to become wise, intelligent, clever, gifted and logical
  • Can develop to become sensible, practical, responsible, accountable, dependable and rational
  • Can develop to become loving, caring, kind, gentle, considerate and compassionate

[Beautiful hey?]

My hurt emotional self:

  • Is pained, hurt, aggrieved, wounded, injured, upset, and distressed
  • Is timid, nervous, shy, fearful, hesitant, apprehensive, cautious and concerned
  • Is fragmented, disjointed, uneven, suppressed, dormant, undeveloped, concealed, embryonic
  • Is humiliated, shamed, embarrassed, disgraced, unfavoured, and self-conscious
  • Is rejected, discarded, unwanted, and unneeded by others
  • Is angry, rebellious, self-absorbed, self-centred, and lacks awareness of surroundings

Now wait for this one – it’s quite a list and when you start to feel your facade it’s going to feel pretty yucky and you can see why it’s not good. Do you recognise yourself?

My façade emotional self:

  • Loves addiction, compulsion, obsession, urges, cravings, fixation and mania
  • Loves bullying, force, harassment, oppression, repression, coercion and manipulation
  • Loves abuse, cruelty, nastiness, meanness, brutality, viciousness and unkindness
  • Loves resistance, conflict, confrontation, disagreement, quarrel and squabbling
  • Loves arrogance, condescension, superiority, conceit, disdain, pride and egotism
  • Is insensitive, unaware, lacks perception or insight
  • Is un-expressive or false in its expression, pretending and made up
  • Is unanimated or false in its animation, lethargic or forced vibrancy
  • Is closed, reserved, controlled, forced, guarded and untrusting
  • Is dishonest, untruthful, insincere, lacks frankness, opaque and is not candid
  • Is prying, interfering, snooping, nosy, meddling, intrusive, invasive and pushy
  • Is unemotional or falsely emotional, unfeeling, unwise, dumb, stupid, and illogical
  • Is fixed, immovable, predetermined and rigid
  • Is apathetic, lazy, disinterested, uninvolved, bored and unconcerned
  • Is unwise, imprudent, thoughtless, irrational, reckless, irresponsible and careless
  • Is selfish, self-absorbed, self-centred, narcissistic and vain

So there you go, it’s a great list and very helpful. Now don’t be, as I have done, hard on myself about it (that’s your facade and an addiction anyway) – just be honest and if you want to understand more see the links below. Hope it helps and thank you to Jesus and Mary for such great information. . I am a beginner in really starting to understand this so please refer to the experts, so to speak – those who have deconstructed much of their facade (walked the walk)  and know the benefits of doing so, including understanding in their hearts God’s truth on this subject.

Each link is either a document of the outline of a talk and/or the YouTube video of the talk itself. This is not a comprehensive list, please go to the divinetruth.com website under downloads for the complete series of talks in the assistance groups of 2014, which introduce the topic and 2016 where there is more wonderful information on the creation and deconstruction of the facade and development of the real self.

https://www.divinetruth.com/docts/2014/20140729-1400-1400-jesus-dt-agp-lintro–Understanding%20Self%20Introduction–en-outline.pdf

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VXaVvi0xXck&feature=youtu.be

https://www.divinetruth.com/docts/2014/20140730-1100-1100-jesus-dt-agp-lintro–Understanding%20Self%20Deconstructing%20the%20Facade%20Self–en-outline.pdf

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V-qDtsGiikA&feature=youtu.be

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTjpad9xQGU&feature=youtu.be

https://www.divinetruth.com/docts/2014/20140731-1145-1145-marym-dt-agp-lintro–Introduction%20to%20Addictions–en-outline.pdf

https://www.divinetruth.com/docts/2016/20160604-1410-1410-jesus-dt-agp-ledmls–The%20Creation%20of%20My%20Facade–en-outline.pdf

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ynXrm3omg6Y&feature=youtu.be

Made For You

You know that moment when his lips are the most beautiful, delicate thing…

That you long to touch,

Gently and softly with your own.

Where his cheek

And every detail of his face

Makes your heart leap in wonder,

At who he is

This yours.

This one you’ve been waiting for

In moments of softness.

Where to stroke your hand along his skin

Feels the best privilege of your life.

And his smile

Makes your heart crumble.

Where it doesn’t matter where he’s been,

But only that he is

Yours,

And you his.

All your life you had this feeling

He was there somewhere.

In a dream,

A breath,

A thought,

A heartbeat.

Even when you felt so lost,

And your heart lay shattered in a million pieces.

You hoped he knew you were there,

Somewhere too.

Where a lifetime of hurt,

Had so far prevented you

From finding him,

Because you struggled to find yourself.

Until the day you realise

That to find yourself was the only way to find him.

So now as you pick up the tiny pieces of you.

You start to get a tiny sense

Of him.

A flash of a cheek,

A lip, a jaw,

A sense of his strength,

Because you start to find your own;

A sense of his heart,

When you learn to feel your own.

From the desire to find yourself

Your longing for him begins.

Some curiosity at who you might be

And who he is

Who was made for you.

You know what his passions may be

Because you’re finding yours.

You’ll know his silly sense of humour

Because you have it too.

The flash of a cheek,

The corner of his mouth,

His breath close to yours.

A waking dream or a sign of something?

Each piece of yourself you find

Is a step closer to him:

To the one

Made for you.

And it starts not to matter

How long it will take.

But only that you keep walking towards yourself,

Because time and God are on your side

And his.

Maxine Bell 2019

P.S. I love you

as high as the sky - gods love

This is just a short post following on from the one I wrote yesterday, “I want to do it my way, not God’s way.” I mentioned signs, synchronicities, God letting me know He is there for me… well today something happened.

Just to demonstrate how God works in our lives the day after I posted yesterday’s blog I decided to go to church. It’s not something I do very often, because I don’t agree with their views on Jesus, a lack of truth, logic or authenticity,  but occasionally I just feel I want to be with others that have some desire for God, to help me feel my own emotions about Him. Religions have some issues, but there are sincere people searching for God and I find it humbling to see. So I went today and a very passionate sermon was preached and a number of things hit my heart:

  • Don’t ever give up ( so, so apt right now).
  • To get to the promise (the mountain top) you have to go through a process – there is no magic leap from A to Z, so to speak. In fact the process is what helps us grow, learn, build faith.
  • When you are in the valley ( the depths of your life/the difficult times) remember it is a place where seeds grow.
  • Remember that you are not just a number, you are not just nothing, you are a child of God and God wants you to bring what you have to give, what he made you to be.
  • He wants you to take action, he wants you to stand up as you are and offer to the world and every time you hold back being all that you can, you lose out, but so does the world, because every child of God has a reason for being, a song to sing that only they can give.

It was a emotional for me in that church and it felt like the pastor was looking right at me at times. I am so amazed and so grateful that God never gives up on me and is constantly showing me this. He sees my fear of the mountain I have to climb, but He has faith in me, He has faith in his creation – and that is despite all my error, my mistakes, my failures, my sin.

So tonight was just one wonderful example of God showing me He is there right behind me waiting for me to turn and look His way and surrender to His Love. Grace follows us everywhere.

Here is the inspiration that Marianne Williamson wrote in relation to this:

‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within in.

Gifts

When a gift is truly received in the heart, it will be seen, not hidden and locked away gathering dust.

What is the point of receiving a beautiful gift if you do nothing with it?

A gift appreciated is a gift displayed and used as intended.

When that gift is Love and Truth are you glad? Do you know it’s presciousness? Will you plant it’s seeds deep in your soul, water, nourish and tend to it? Or will you let this treasure slip through your fingers?

The choice is yours…..this choice is mine. What I do with the gifts I’ve been given is the point….

Volunteer Selection Project: Week 1, April 2019

I am currently in Australia on the Volunteer Selection Programme and the post below my introduction is written by Eloisa who is one of the Directors of Godsway Ltd who explains clearly what the ‘VSP’ is about.

I made it through week 1, but I have to work on some beliefs, attitudes and emotions that I have that are very out of harmony with Love and Truth currently and during week 2 so it is uncertain if I get to the end yet.

However, I can honestly say this is the best thing I have ever done in my life!  The gifts I have received:

  • Experiencing what real love is and does. (Huge, huge gift)
  • Discovering how different that is from my and the worlds version of ‘love’ – ie meeting addictions/bartering/co-dependency
  • Having real experiences of living God’s Way and what that entails (what real loving service is about) and what the effects are (very good!!)
  • Observing and feeling what it is like to be with people who sincerely want to Love, live truthfully and want to be themselves, rather than be in facade.
  • Receiving feedback and guidance from people who really want to know the real me and still care for me “warts and all,” but won’t meet my addictions and want me to experience real happiness and share my gifts.
  • Discovering what my main issue is in regards to my personal progress.
  • That I don’t know who I really am and that’s okay.
  • Learning more about how I feel about sin and how I justify it to “get what I want.”
  • Discovering and learning more about the environment and environmental recovery and how essential it is to put God and God’s principles back in the picture for lasting change. (I will write more on  why that is another day)
  • God’s Way is simple, not always easy, but simple, clear,  and consistent.
  • That I wasn’t deluding myself that I am a truth-seeker.
  • That I have been deluding myself that I am my facade and that this is not a sin.
  • Oh and experiencing new nature, creatures and plants!
  • There have been many other little gifts too..

Enjoy reading more below…..

God's Way

The third Volunteer Selection Project commenced on the 8th April 2019.

Background information

The Volunteer Selection Programme was the idea & design of  Jesus (Alan John Miller) and Mary Magdalene (Mary Luck) (the mentors of the programme). Jesus and Mary created the structure of the programme and have worked closely with the facilitators, Tristan Miller and Eloisa Lytton-Hitchins to come up with a variety of activities to rapidly assess the attitudes, desires, intentions and motivations of individuals who desire to volunteer for Divine Truth and God’s Way Ltd organisations.

The programme is a trial or a test period designed to identify permanent, passionate and desirous individuals who specifically desire to give to Divine Truth and/or God’s Way organisations. The duration of the programme is 14 contact days over five weeks.

The programme is like a job interview (with practical activities) to assess participants desire to give gifts to the world…

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