Firstly, I have updated our “About Us” section if you want to know a bit more about our path and what inspires us. It will also help you understand why we are so keen to feel all of our emotions and heal on a soul level.. This poem is pretty raw and because of that a bit erratic in its form, but I have written it as it came out ( as I do for most of my poems) … Most of us find the injuries around our mother pretty hard to deal with, especially as society  has “mother” as a bit of an untouchable in a way. But as children, our mothers are our main carers so what happens around them impacts us deeply. This is not just about my mother, this is about her mother and her mother’s mother and many mothers. So much is done unconsciously, but its never to late to see the truth of our unloving behaviour, even though it feels really, really uncomfortable. However, if we want change, to move forward, we need to tell the truth, without blame, just the truth. Turns out our mothers are human and flawed like the rest of us…

VOICE OF THE DAUGHTER

I am the Unloved

The Unlovable.

I am the doubtable

The un-floutable,

The One not good enough, not ever.

I wore my heart on my sleeve..

You smashed it

Bashed it

Whacked it,

Smothered it.

You were meant to show me love,

but you taught me shame.

You were meant to let me grow,

but you just sent out, I was to blame

for all the troubles in your life,

for feeling trapped,

locked in strife.

You never took responsiblity

for the pain you caused.

Instead I thought it was me

I was the one.. flawed.

Floored by your anger,

Your hate, your fear.

You could cry,

I wasn’t allowed tears.

Narcissistic Queen

How cruel you could be.

Rant, blame and shame

at the top of your tree.

You didn’t know just

How much you manipulated me.

I knew you were wounded,

hurting deep below

But instead of owning it,

you gave out the blows.

I was 1, 2 and 3,

4, 5 and 6

Under the spell of your tricks.

7, 8 and 9 and so it goes on.

I am under your thumb.

Hooked, line and sunk,

nearly drowned in you sick, little games.

No matter, the cause, I want to say STOP!

I will not, any longer, be your puppet.

I will not, any longer,

believe all the lies.

Or that I was to blame.

A child who was innocent

is shouting back,

loudly saying NO, so that you hear.

I know you were hurt as a child,

But is didn’t mean hurt me too.

It was a chance for you to

change the cycle of pain,

and face the truth.

So hooks I remove you

I take a step back.

It’s time for me now

It’s time to cry all the tears

I suppressed again and again.

It’s time to release the pressure at last.

To lift the weight from my soul.

Every feeling let out now

Will help me know

I am not what you said I was.

I am God’s child ( as are you).

Time to break the chain,

To feel,

To renew.

So go from my door,

Leave me be, for now.

Give me space to breath

Find out who I am.

Free from the shadow,

of childhood pain.

When tears have flowed,

my soul will gain,

the chance to express

Its beauty once more.

To open my heart,

Open the door to

Love and joy, all the things I forgot.

So now I say Stop,

to your unloving behaviour,

from future attacks.

This girl, this woman

is fighting back.

Through anger, through fear,

Through terrible grief.

To shift my beliefs.

Unlovable to Loveable

Unloved to Loved.