The Difference Divine Truth Has Made To My Life

I haven’t written for a while as there are some changes happening and I am re-evaluating my blog – well my life actually. I have been taking some actions to help myself follow my desires, find work I love, find out more of who I am. I have been very busy and struggling at times with my 9-5, Monday to Friday job. Also, the last 15 months have been intense with things I have had to do for my son, who is an adult with Down’s syndrome. That story is a whole new post, but needless to say it has impacted life greatly and I have to look at my law of attraction and what it is really saying to me – not what I think it is saying.

I don’t find that easy, but the fact is I haven’t created much time to think about God or the Divine Truth teachings. I haven’t been able to help with the transcribing or watch many videos. What I have been doing is to keep challenging some comfort zones and have done a course to help me discover my desires and give me some tools for that. It has been really good. I have done some performance poetry, which I have loved and wrote to people I never would have done before. There has been fear and battles with apathy and/or addictions, but I keep finding a step to take and it feels good.

I am also connecting with people again and boy that brings you lots to learn about yourself, your fears, your addictions and your fears. Much more effective than hiding away – which I was doing for a few years.

I haven’t found time for everything and certainly still not spending enough time on things I love, and still emotionally resistance to feeling the deep stuff. I have discovered how important being present in my body is to feeling and realised how long I have been escaping out of  my body to avoid feeling so now have some spinal work to see if that will help me unlock some emotions and of course I have to be willing.

I haven’t heard my guides for a while ( I don’t feel worthy a lot/resistance or in addiction, which prevents them helping me), but today I was sitting knitting ( a new hobby) and it stops me thinking  and opens up another part of me and I started to write what I was “hearing” and got reminded that in all my busyness, my doing and trying, my intellectual working out of my issues, that I am still avoiding the big one: my relationship with God. Every time I have tried to do it, I stop as soon as I hit something, so my guides said that I need to prioritise above all else my relationship to God and all the things I am trying to and weighed down by will become clearer and easier. God’s love above all else will help me change my life. To feel my lack of faith, my blocks to God’s love are the biggest thing to focus on.

I have listened to this so many times from the DT talks, but like many, I keep going for the easier stuff ( or so it seems) as I don’t really know or have faith in the power of God’s love and I am afraid of it too. My guides gave me 4 pages of advice about this and then this is how it works. The law of attraction brought me a conversation with a friend, it triggered some emotions about men. I immediately went out for a walk, found a quiet country lane and stomped along swearing and ranting at God – so pissed at Him. I was rambling on like a mad woman until I actually ended up talking to my human father and crying about him and the feeling of never being good enough to be loved: touching the side of that deep fear that I am not lovable.

The funny thing is, I think of Divine Truth every day in some way and I wanted to write about the difference it has made in my life and I am not even on the Way yet, not properly. I haven’t opened to God’s love and I have lacked humility so many times. Yet, it has impacted my life hugely. What will it do when I really let God in?

Mary and Jesus visit 2012

So I thought I would write a list of how I feel Divine Truth teachings have helped me and changed my life already.   For those of you who are curious maybe this will make you more curious. What I do want to do is acknowledge what it has done, with gratitude to Mary and Jesus (That’s me in 2013 – yellow top, just behind Mary and Jesus) for sharing what they know, with so much patience and compassion and for God, for creating such a system, that doesn’t let us get away with anything, but takes us to a place, a path, to our real, amazing selves. I am getting an inkling of me, a twinkling out of the corner of my eye, enough to make me look further. There are others such as Jesus and Mary, and the people like Aphraar ( see Robert James Lee trilogy on the extras page) who know more than me so do look there. In the meantime, here is what the DT teachings have done for me:

  • Understand that I have a soul, a spirit body and physical body and that I am a soul and how that works
  • That I am created to be emotional and that my soul is the power, not my mind.
  • Some understanding of how the universe works, who God is and His Laws
  • The difference between God’s love and truth and human understanding of love and how little we/I know of real love.
  • To start to see the truth of my life and my soul condition, my emotional injuries and the sin ( things out of harmony with love) in me.
  • How my suppressed emotions impact the world negatively
  • How fear has been my God for a long time
  • That God is interested in me, the real me, the “pinnacle of his creation.” and not the facade me
  • That I matter.
  • That there are absolute Truths
  • Information and understanding of the spirit world and spirits.
  • Understanding of spirit influence in my life and how I can change that.
  • That what I think and what I feel can be very different and it is always the emotions in me that guide my life
  • Some understanding of soulmates – that God designed a perfect mate for me and why I we currently don’t know that because of our emotional injuries.
  • That I have spent much of my life in a facade, which has grown as I have grown, due to my fears and addictions to avoid my emotions
  • To have compassion with  myself
  • That following my desires and passions is important. That my unique gifts make a difference to my soul and to everyone else around me.
  • That there is a difference between natural human love and God’s love and they create two different ways of healing and growing and the potential of the second is far greater.
  • That all the information I have learnt ( as above) has given me hope and empowered me. I had thought that life was meaningless, empty, but that it isn’t and that my younger feelings that Love guided everything is true and that I if I grow faith in this and God’s love for me, everything in my life can change.
  • I am becoming a better person because I can examine and feel more truthfully about when I am sinning. I have stopped denying I have these ugly emotions in me.
  • My desire to experience these emotions (without harming anyone) will set me free. I have the choice.
  • To seek for my real self, to seek beyond what I thought I knew.
  • To be truthful and that love and truth hold hands and one can’t exist without the other.
  • Without knowing some of the Divine Truth teachings I would not have coped with the cancer as well; I would not have understood it’s root and causes, I would not have found a reason to keep living.

Many of these statements are just intellectual understandings for me at the moment, some are hopes that they may be true and a few have really hit home. When I first listened to Secrets of the Universe back in 2012 it really hit my soul that truth I had been seeking was here. I didn’t anticipate how much it would rock my world and uproot every belief and everything I thought I knew. Until recently, I built any self worth I had on my intellect and then to learn that my intellect meant so little and in fact I honestly had to admit my intellect alone had not found the answers or healing I was seeking. I have been and continue to be confronted with my own unlovingness, my own lies and self-delusion: in fact most of the things I have known have been shown to be wrong and boy do I resist the change, the challenge to my belief structures and hold onto fears and anger:  anything to feel safe.

BUT I have not been happy in my so-called “safe” zones. I have been a shrivelled mask of my self, disconnected and disassociated from real love and life. With Divine truth I have seen things differently, experimented with new ways and admitted truths to myself and it has made me now think more carefully about my choices and my behaviour: asking what is really loving in this moment? What would Love do? What is God’s truth?

It turns out that God’s truth is that we are all very, very important; very, very loved and with a ton of potential to be amazing ten times over, once we choose to seek true Love. Divine truth has and is changing my life and this is with only small steps on my part. I observe others doing better on the path than me and so the changes in their lives are greater and for some reason I can never and do not want to let it go. There is nothing like these truths. This is not meant arrogantly: I have tried many other things and beliefs and nothing sparkles in my soul like this.

It has gifted me so much already and I don’t think I know it fully yet, but it has. My outlook on life has changed and now my actions are starting to follow in certain areas, at least. What we are seeking is already here. I hope in the next few years I can demonstrate more, and be walking my talk more than I am now. But whatever I do, you can choose to check it out for yourself and if you do I hope some of the things on these pages help you.

In gratitude,

Maxine

 

Jesus promise

 

 

 

GREEN BLANKETS

devonhill2

A few days ago I was driving back from Exeter, along the A38 in Devon. As I drove I suddenly had this image of God laying down beautiful, intricate green blankets across the hills he had just made. Firstly, I noticed that God looked younger than I previously had seen him. In the old days he was a cross old man, sitting in his throne sending down lighting bolts of thunder to all who disobeyed. These days, having thrown off the ideas of church versions of God, God now appears younger to me. He was still very big – his head nearly as big as the hillside, but he looked about 40, with brown hair and beard – but a softer, smaller beard than the white one. His profile as he laid down, with such love, those green blankets, revealed a straight nose, well-proportioned lips and deep, brown, very kind eyes which sparkled from the task at hand. He was paying attention to every detail, ensuring the green, grass blankets were exactly in place. He then placed the trees in certain spots, very delicately and put in some hedgerows to create interesting borders to each field. He was pleased with his work. I was so touched by the attention to detail and love that was going into that one action and it made me think about all of creation and how it tells me that nothing this beautiful could be here so randomly. In fact, there is nothing random about nature: it is highly organised to function well and regenerate and create all the time. Secondly, that there is SO much love and care involved in what has been created; every detail thought out, planned and placed with consideration for what the function of each plant and creature would fulfil. I can not even begin to number how many elements are involved. And why? to make a beautiful home for all her children. How amazing is that. Well I think so, at least.

Those of you who don’t know Devon, it is one of the most beautiful places in England: full of green rolling hills, waterways, wild moors, incredible coastlines and quaint, pretty villages. It’s name rhymes with heaven and that is how I see it: my little taste of Heaven in Devon.

As I drive, I always notice the countryside and always enjoy the pleasure it gives me to live in such a stunning environment. Between places, my car winds down country roads, surrounded my numerous, small, green hillsides, dotted with the shapes of a variety of trees and hedgerows. On some of those hillsides, sheep contentedly graze, and small brooks trickle around the bottom curves of the land. Driving further, more trees arise and create woodland-covered hills, that eventually create wonderful tunnels over the road of shade and light, where ferns and ivy grow and spread onto the roadside. The ground under the trees are either covered with a bed of moist winter leaves, in brown and golds, or the blues, greens and yellows of spring and summer. As I emerge from these tree tunnels and my eyes adjust to the light, I pass the odd small group of cottages, with pretty windows and small doors, enjoying their quiet lives.

More rolling hills emerge and then I am driving alongside a widening, roaring river, tumbling over rocks, edged with the roots of trees and mud clinging onto it’s side. The water is clear and bright, sparkling and energised, full of life. It is on it’s way to the coast, journeying from it’s source, which can now be seen in the near distance: the rugged hills and rocks of the moors.

To drive through the moors is like journeying through time and space for me. There is a different feel there, a different energy, whispering of ancient times and secrets. There are miniature worlds there. Small, sturdy, trees permanently blown by years of strong winds to grow either east or west, rather than up, standing in small groups with soft, green beds of grass and heather below their feet. Rocks are dotted everywhere: all shapes and sizes. Some are huge creating the giant stones of the Tors: the highest points of the moors that can be seen for miles around. They are like a monument to creation, a test of time and endurance. Sometimes I almost think I can hear them whispering.

Then there are forests of tall pine trees, carpeted by their own spiky leaves. Rivers and brooks run everywhere: some a quiet trickle; some a loud roar, tumbling over and down huge boulders in the bed of the river; some turn into waterfalls as they gush down the hillside. There is a contrast of utter peace with the utter vibrancy of life. The weather can change like lightening up here. A clear day of wide views can become a thick, blinding fog where you can only see one foot stepping in front of the other. Bright sunshine can turn into heavy, grey clouds that rain down and across the land in biting winds. I love this change, this wildness, this no-holds barred expression of life.

Everyday I drive through such land, I am grateful. It can lift my spirits and remind me of the bigger picture on my darkest days. It breathes new life into any soul weary of life. For me, it also, tells me more about God than anything. It tells me God loves me – look what he made for me. It tells me God is intelligent, incredibly kind and loving. He is also incredibly patient – waiting and waiting for us to see with our hearts what is around us to know Him. She is nurturing, powerful and the most amazing artist ever.

Wherever I am, I find something to remind me of the abundance, love and possibility that nature reveals – even a isolated flower, growing from a wall in a town tells me God is there, waiting, watching ready for when I come fully home, when I realise my own worth and beauty and when I am ready to surrender to a Love, I only have the tiniest idea of right now.

What a gift to see God laying those green blankets. It was a lesson in how lovingly he treats his creation, how beautiful the world he wants us to enjoy, but also for me, how he wants me to treat myself, others and this world, so that it can shine as it was truly meant to, as I was truly meant to. To understand that he feels that tenderly about me, about us all, is a true magical wonder.

God Bless,

Maxine Bell @2016

 

WALK TO GOD

Natural-Purple-Landscape-Wallpaper-HD

I looked for God on my walk home from work

Not in concrete, but in the dirt.

I spied the tree as it stood tall

Listened to blackbird’s evening call.

I stopped and stared at tiny flowers

Who’d burst into life with sun and showers.

In shades of violet, pink and blue.

I sighed with pleasure at their rainbow hue.

I listened to the leaves rustling

Shades of green making my heart sing.

I studied them to feel God’s nature,

Looked at the detail of our Creator.

Every intricate colour, line and shade.

Beautifully designed and lovingly made.

I wondered at the care God took,

From mountain top to little brook.

From sky so blue, with gentle cloud,

To river wide, each rushing sound.

From branch on tree and rocky Tor,

To green, green grass and rugged moor.

This God of mine is seen in every natural thing,

Heard in every bird that sings.

In every flower scent I hear Her voice

Marvel at each of our Creator’s choice.

Only Love could make such beauty real,

Each thing designed to help us feel,

To remind us of the life we’re given,

Is sent from high: above the heavens.

Today the heart of God was shown to me.

Beating with intelligence and harmony.

As I walked home from work today.

I also saw the attribute of play.

God smiled when he planted the tree,

Whose branches smile down at me.

From sky to earth, provided all I need,

In every grain, plant and seed.

God gave us a home that we could love,

Soil and root: bush and shrub.

He showed us His true nature and tender care.

In every atom, in every breath of air.

I marvelled at how God’s awesome power

Discovered Him in every flower,

In every leaf and each speck of soil.

His love is there, always true, forever loyal.

Maxine Bell May 2015